As if anyone needed confirmation of the above fact, I have a tale of mirth and woe for you all. It involves a lovely little lad called Pete, a large multinational corporation named Apple, and close to twenty years of time to span the various chapters.

My first memory of Apple was as a prep in 1991. I wasn’t what you’d call computer literate and so, predictably I didn’t really feel any great emotion – positive or negative – towards the first computer I met in an academic setting – an old Macintosh Plus (i think) that I and 60 other prep students bashed away at awkwardly. I definitely preferred our home computer, with a tacky dos menu put together by Dad, and about a dozen games including Commander Keen and Treasure Mountain, two games that would still rate in my top ten.

Apple faded from my life for the rest of my school life, being nothing but overpriced computers that (although admittedly pretty) weren’t compatible with anything decent. I worked on a very nice Mac during work experience in year 10, but I was still hesitant. And more importantly I held the strong opinion that Apple users were all dickheads.

Then in 2003, I read about a new product launch. Something called an iPod had been released as a third generation, and supported windows. It was an MP3 player, had funky touch sensitive buttons, and a miniscule hard drive inside it which could be filled with 10GB of music. I had to have one. June 2003 was when I finally got my hands on an iPod, and it was instant love. I was an early adopter (even though they had technically been out for almost 2 years) and Huglebert (as he was christened) became a close friend, rendering an otherwise entertainment sparse 9 months in South Africa bearable and causing at least one interesting mugging attempt.

However I promised that that would be it – Apple had made one amazing appliance and embraced windows users, but there was no way I was going to buy any more Apple products. Now admittedly, in 2006 Huglebert started to get a bit small and weak to continue on. A replacement iPod surely wasn’t going to break the rules regarding no Apple products? It’s just caving in to in-built obsolescence – not my fault at all. Enter Huglebert II, late 2006. I thought she was harmless, with her sleek black looks but purely functional personality, but I was wrong. I was falling for the design. And the wank-value. And just the fucking name.

So with a little bit of money in the bank, and having spied an ad in the student paper about cheap Macs with a further rebate if an iPod is bought at the same time, I bought myself a Core 2 Duo, 2.4Ghz White Macbook in April of 2008, justifying the expense by promising that it’d help me study at uni. The jury is still out as to whether it did or not. What the jury most definitely is not still out about is that it broke my promise to myself, and added about a kajillion credits to my wanker account.

However the story is really brought to a climax only last week, when I took the final fateful plunge into Appley waters and bought an iPhone. I know everyones got them. I know I don’t need one. I know it’s going to be upgraded in July. But its pretty. I don’t think I can spin the study excuse this time.

Fortunately I had the smarts and balls to buy a broken one on eBay, fix it, unlock it and use it without a contract on 3. So I had a bit of fun and got it on the cheap to boot. It’s good as new now and I have to admit I’m very happy with it, sans some features, and the battery life.

So, although I’ll drink my own vomit before admitting to being a fanboy or anything as ghastly, I do have to admit I’ve about-faced regarding Apple, although their shit is still just overpretty, overdesigned and overpriced. S’pose it proves the ‘fool and his money’ saying…

Pete

So. This is awkward. I kind of left you in the lurch back there, didn’t I? For six months? I’m sorry – it just got too serious, too quickly and I panicked. I don’t know what else to say – you know what they say about men and commitment. Just ask any of my ex-girlfriends.

But the important thing is I’m back. Although this blog has cost me employment, friends and sanity in the past, I do enjoy writing sweet nothings to the internet, and I think everyone needs a creative outlet in life.

So, with trepidation and a little bit of shame I step back into the blogosphere.

Pete