Well that’s it. Uni goes back tomorrow – the holidays are over for this spring chicken. I guess that means these posts will be more numerous, more ordered and probably more interesting for the next 9 months or so.

One last bit of stupidity before the seriousness of uni life returns. Asian Backstreet Boys. They are actually half decent – and more than half ridiculous.

Pete

I remember a golden piece of John Safran television, which addressed the issue of big corporate types attempting to use their money and power to sue anyone and anything that attempted to poke fun at the company, or infringe on what they considered their name AND NO-ONE ELSE’S. In the segment, Safran got an actor to play a McDonald’s lawyer and track down people with the family name McDonald. The lawyer then, on behalf of McDonalds family restaurants, tried to offer the people monetary incentives to change their name to a more ‘mutually agreeable sirname’, a step McDonald’s has actually taken with businesses sharing a likeness to the Golden Arch, but not – as yet – individuals. Along with registering the McDonalds name in a country the chain is yet to be part of (Iraq), and trying to infiltrate McDonald’s with a fake Ronald McDonald, the segment was quite funny, but touched on the serious issue of corporate abuse.

That little intro aside, let me introduce you to this week’s corporate abuse victim. Paul Dell, a Frenchman and webdeveloper is the owner of the domain name dellwebsites.com. Dell Computers Inc, however don’t seem to believe that Mr Dell has a right to this name, and as a result Paul has been summoned to appear before the Tribunal de Grande Instance Paris to answer claims of parasitism and unfair competition. Dell Computers is seeking damages in the order of €100,000 for Dell America, €50,000 for Dell France and €500 for each use of the word ‘Dell’ in Paul’s website. Has society stooped to a new low or what?

Anyway Paul’s friends have encouraged him to fight the corporation, and have set up this little website to keep everyone updated, and to ask for assistance (assumedly financial) to fight the case. Carn the little man!

Pete

I know it’s been a while – there’s been a lot on the proverbial plate, although that’s really no excuse, as I remember fairly important and stressful times like IB exams proved to be a most fruitful time for blogging here. Oh well.

Truth is I have a couple of quite detailed posts that I’ve been meaning to write up for a while now, it’s just I haven’t been able to sit down and spend the time that they deserve composing and typing. For now, you’re going to just have to deal with this poor excuse for a post.

Anyway, to tide you over for a little bit, let me launch into a bit of a story. I remember one of the coolest things about christmas was Kris Kringle, which usually took place at school. Yes, at the end of the day almost everyone ended up with completely rubbish presents, but occasionally you would stumble over such a random gift that you wouldn’t be quite sure that the present was really intended for you. I remember one year getting a makeup bag complete with puffy brush, and another time recieving my very own bug catching kit. For some reason, the complete and utter shittiness of the gifts was overshadowed by their extreme oddness, and as a result they were often the most memorable christmas presents for the year. I’m not implying that my parents gave me lumps of coal or anything – if anything I was spoilt by parental pressies – it’s just that I can remember the KK present for my Grade 5 year, and wouldn’t have a clue what I got from Santa/Mum&Dad.

Anyway I digress. This little spark of genius reminded me of the way Kris Kringle works, but with an arty-farty touch to it. Basically you sketch something onto a white canvas on the mainpage, and then after submitting it, you are rewarded with someone else’s artwork. Your sketch then goes on to bless some other (un)fortunate soul, and the cycle continues. A simple idea, executed beautifully. It would be better if you had a little more control over the sketching (eraser, different weight pens etc), but it is a great little site. Check it out!

Although I didn’t have the foresight to screencap my own masterpiece, I can tell you it was a lump of shit compared to this little baby from some anonymous benefactor, to whom I am eternally grateful.

Now THAT is art – considering there’s no eraser and the medium was mouse on table.

Pete

I had trouble sleeping last night, so got up at around 6am, made myself a nice freshly roasted Timorese espresso, and flicked on the idiot box. By some form of luck, the Turin Olympics opening ceremony had just started, so I settled into a nice comfy chair with my doona and watched for the 2 hours or so that the ceremony lasted for. During the proceedings I was struck by two profound observations I made that I feel compelled to share with you all.

Firstly, although it may come as a suprise to many, it looked pretty friggin cold there. Pretty. Friggin. Cold.

And secondly, the Italian team was incredibly large. Usually you expect (quite understandably) the host country to have the largest contingent at the Olympics – it happened at Athens, and at Sydney, and at countless other games before (Salt Lake City in 2002, the only other games I remember athlete numbers well enough, doesn’t count because the Americans ALWAYS have a huge team regardless of where the event is). However, this Italian team was large even when accounting for that phenomenon – the team was probably 2 or 3 times larger than any other country’s team – a far greater discrepancy than I can remember at any other games. They took perhaps a sixth of the space reserved for the entire mass of athletes in the middle of the stadium!

Anyway, as a result I hereby issue this edict: If the Italians do not win a medal (of any colour) in EACH AND EVERY EVENT staged during the two weeks, the Italian national squad shall be renamed ‘the biggest failures ever’. As well as that, each individual in the team will be legally forced into changing their name by deed poll to ‘Failure McFail’.

I am aware that this will mean three quarters of the country will be renamed to sound more Celtic than anything, and am equally aware of the logistical difficulties that will arise from trying to track down a particular Mr. or Mrs. McFail under the new plan, but considering the extent to which the Italians are clearly cheating I think it’s fair, don’t you?

While on the topic of Italians, a big welcome home to Jake and Nick, who have been traversing the Italian countryside, with a bit of France and England thrown in for the last 2 months. Missed a hell of a summer, bitches!

Pete

Although I was educated at a Methodist church school, religion and I often do not see eye-to-eye. I’m sure this is largely to do with my leanings towards science in both a professional and philosophical sense, but I feel another major reason for my distrust towards the establishment is the kinds of personalities that western religion tends to foster. A pet hatred of mine are people with delusions of being more ‘righteous’ than others, and for some odd reason, many people that exhibit these sorts of thoughts (or at least broadcast these thoughts to the rest of us) seem to be religious people in high places. Before you attack me for these thoughts, I know and accept that this is religious stereotyping, so please save me the lecture. Anyway my example for today is the Honourable Tony Abbott, Federal Minister for Health and complete and utter twat.

Mr Abbott is a Rhodes scholar Liberal frontbencher with a good chance (in my opinion) of running the party, if not the country later in his life. Overall he has handled his various portfolios such as Workplace Relations, Employment and his current post as Health Minister fairly well, however there is one problem I see in any further progression he wishes to make in Australian politics – his open and clearly influential religious beliefs. He is a practising catholic, and unfortunately does not seem to understand the importance of maintaining a healthy distance between church and state – surely one of the fundamental principles of governing anything whatsoever. The clearest example of his incredibly vocal, catholic flavoured views are those on the issue of abortion. Usually the views of a single parliamentarian wouldn’t be such a big issue, however Mr Abbott, as Health Minister has total control over the legalisation of the abortion drug RU-486, a control which is clearly guided by his religious beliefs. This is totally unacceptable in a supposedly non-aligned government, as was shown yesterday in the senate, where an overwhelming majority supported a private member’s bill to transfer this control to the Therapuetic Goods Administration – a medical organisation which is surely far better suited at making considerations that affect the livelihood of the Australian public. Although the bill must still pass through the lower house, where Mr Abbott holds a seat and there should be a closer call, I believe yesterday’s triumph of logic over archaic and pious arguments will be a significant triumph for years to come.

Interestingly enough, the one thing that no-one seems to realise is that this conscience vote was not a question of whether abortion is justifiable – that has been decided over the last 25 years in each of the states and territories individually. This vote was simply whether it was right for a parliamentarian to choose whether a drug is suitable for the public or not, rather than medical professionals.

While still on the politician bashing, is anyone else getting sick of Barnaby ‘Wankhead’ Joyce? Many saw his stalling with the anti-terror laws as proof of an MP who cared, however I found it irritating then, and now that he is starting to throw around misjudged and inflammatory statements, I am seriously considering hiring a hitman for him.

Pete

Although none (or at least not many) of you will have noticed, or even have reason to notice dialagranny.com servers changed today. I’ve been hosted by Lauren’s protagonist webhosting for two and a half years now, but have decided to spread my wings and am testing out Psychz hosting for at least a month.

Although that may mean diddley-squat to all of you now, it won’t once you become aware that with more space comes more content, which means that if I can get my arse into order, this blog will become a lot more interesting. Anyway, here’s hoping!

I need sleep.

Pete

ATTENTION ALL POVERTY STRICKEN, UNI BUM, MUSIC LOVING AUSTRALIANS:

The East Coast Blues & Roots festival is held every year over the Easter break. This year’s lineup includes:

Bernard Fanning, The Black Keys, India.Arie Sigur Rós, Keb’ Mo’, Los Lobos, Amadou & Mariam, Music Maker Foundation, Slightly Stoopid, Batucada Sound Machine David Gray, Public Enemy, Pete Murray, The Blind Boys of Alabama, India.Arie, Los Lobos, Jamie Cullum, The Skatalites, Amadou & Mariam, New Orleans Band Aid, Damian “Jr.Gong” Marley, Bob Geldof, Xavier Rudd, The Cat Empire, Keb’ Mo’, Beth Orton, Donavon Frankenreiter, Martha Wainwright, Yothu Yindi, Juan De Marcos’ Afro Cuban All Stars, The Robert Cray Band, Femi Kuti, Eric Burdon & The Animals, Georgie Fame & The Blue Flames, Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings, New Orleans Band Aid, Harry Manx, Christine Anu, Troy Cassar-Daley Buddy Guy, Jackson Browne with David Lindley, The Robert Cray Band, Beth Orton, Martha Wainwright, Femi Kuti, Eddi Reader, Hothouse Flowers and Mia Dyson.

It will be an awesome festival, but tickets cost (for the 5 day adult ticket) $350, then theres the issue of travel to Byron, food and accomodation. However, it is possible to become a volunteer for the festival. This would mean a 5 hour shift each day, but would provide you with a free ticket to the event, as well as one square meal a day, plus a cool t-shirt. This would mean some of the costs would be covered, and I am seriously considering this as an alternative to not going at all. All I need is people to come with me. So if you are at all interested, head over to the festival webpage, find the volunteer link and submit an application. What a great way to save hundreds of dollars!

Pete

Anyone who lives in Melbourne knows the problems that the government and, since privatisation the various transport companies have had with ticketing. Ever since 1998, when the old conductor-served paper ticket was replaced with a streamlined, automated, magnetic stripped metcard there have been problems a-plenty. Firstly, the machines (apart from big ones at train stations) only took coins and often wouldn’t give change. Secondly, all the trams had to be butchered in order to put these bloody great big machines on them in the first place. Thirdly, because the government was trying desperately to cut costs elsewhere, ticket evasion shot up, as people became aware that it was easy as pie to get away without paying.

Largely because of this last issue, the various companies (for now at least acting under the conglomerate MetLink) started employing ticket officers to check tickets randomly and book those without them. Then, when this didn’t make much of a difference they started advertising, first appealing wholeheartedly to the conscientious ticket evaders, then (rather stupidly) by trying to shame ticket evaders into paying for tickets using supposedly witty, text only advertising (refer to exhibit A).

Now at least it seems the operators of the system finally seem to understand that no matter how hard they advertise, there are only two ways to get fare evaders to pay for their ticket: provide a decent enough service to warrant payment in the minds of the evaders, or shoot them all.

As it would be laughable to expect the various parts of Metlink to actually invest in making the service a better one, and mass murder is a tactic more commonly found in certain European countries (which funnily enough have some of the best train systems in the world), Metlink was understandably in a bit of a pickle. So, the smart little boys and girls in the marketing department seem to have decided to abandon the whole fare evasion issue and instead make headway trying to push pre-purchased metcards. Clearly the powers that be believe that the real targets are legitimate fare-payers that don’t hand over their hardearned cash days or weeks before using the system.

And so, may I present to you, dear readers, the amazing new advertising acronym BATBYGOBSTOPL. The ads are catchy enough (follow the link and you can watch them online) but all I can think about is the wasted millions that could be doing so much better if it were invested in more trains running more often, and ON FUCKING TIME.

Pete